woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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