God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
