dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
