11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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