Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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