I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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