He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
