420 ftw
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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