There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
