this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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