OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
