1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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