So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
