Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
