You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
