He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
