Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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