OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
