Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
