you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
