I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
