Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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