She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
