Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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