It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
worst night to have a conscience
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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