They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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