You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
