I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
