You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
