Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
