he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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