I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
