I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
