I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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