you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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