so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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