Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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