it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she told me i tasted like america
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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