try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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