Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
