so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
