Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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