no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
