Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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