i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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