Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
