Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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