I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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