Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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