I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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