you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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