Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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