I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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