Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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